Dreaming of a Wake

Last night I dreamed
I dreamed of a Genie in a bottle
and it granted me three wishes
with a sweet smile
so my first one was
"You will always do my bidding as I say."
and the genie smiled and just said "yes!"
so my second was
"I wish that my wishes come true exactly as I say!"
and the genie laughed and just said "Yes!"
so my third one was
"And there shall be no end to my wishes!!"
and the genie was shaking uncontrolled and rolled the ground and yelled "YES!!"
Then I wished and I wished and I wished and I wished
And all of my wished came true the moment I said
and all where exactly as I said
and the genie did my bidding.
I wished for love so strong so hard to deep that it hurts
and I loved so hard and so deep that it hurt, that the pain was ripping my heart apart, that the love was destroying my soul.
I wished for sex so hot to ignite the world
and I had sex so wild, so hot that the world went up in flames, and my body burned and left me as dry ashes behind.
I wished for success like a flaming star that rose all above the sky
and I had success, where every failure bore a new success, the fortune came and never went and nothing seemed to wail.
with each wish
that came true
with each day
that was new
I hollowed out a bit more
when the love I wished for broke my heart
when the sex I had was nothing more than an idea
when all the success made me empty and poor.

I then wished for peace
and I had peace and nothing else, and not love or sex or success
I then wished for having everything
and I had everything and nothing in return, as everything is nothing without the wish for something
I then wished to stop.

And it stopped.
And I stood in the emptiness of my heart
And I hung in the lifenessless of my sex
And I despaired in the fail of my life.
All the darkness that engulfed me
all the piercing pain of my sould
all the longing of my heart
all in one and nothing and everything
waking up screaming
finding that all is true
and lie
and loss
and gain
and nothing more than endless pain

where waking up screaming
is the sanest wish to be.